Death's Diary (Read And Die!)
by NicolaQ
Summary: Guys; you will not believe what I'm reading right now. Nico di Angelo's— as in THE Nico di Angelo's— diary. Written since Last Olympian. I haven't died yet, meaning you won't either; so join me in listening to Nico's secrets from the shadows of his soul. Rated T because cazzo means a lot of things in Italian.
1. Chapter 1

001

Gods, Hades is so weird.

Of course you'll give your disappointing, antisocial son a diary. That's exactly what normal fathers do.

I know I'm going to be the only one reading this; but like "normal people", I'll treat my punishment diary as a person.

My name's Nico di Angelo; the only known surviving child of Hades after Perseus "Percy" Jackson broke his promise to protect my sister. My father gave me this to help wiggle venting since no therapist in the world can help me. Right now I'm (As in Dante Allighieri) writing this in Italian so no demigod can read this except me.

I won't have much to say here; just that my suspicions about an impending relationship between Percy and Annabeth have finally been confirmed. Now I'm trying to move on with my life by hanging out with the dead; this is going to be great!

Nico di Angelo.


	2. Chapter 2

002

I go away for two weeks and I miss everything.

Why am I not used to this?

So, Percy's gone and some other person named Jason comes in his place. It might have something to do with what father told me; There's an enemy camp in San Francisco for Roman demigods.

Which reminds me; forget what I said about being the only surviving child of Hades; I have a practically older sister from the 1930's who died trying to stop Alcyenous from rising.

We're all about sacrifices as children of Hades.

I dropped her off and got a title: Ambassador of Pluto [Like that hasn't been my job for the past month.]

A new title and plenty of people I can't wait to not talk to. What could possibly go wrong?

Remind Me Not To Ask That,

Nico di Angelo.


	3. Chapter 3

003

Everything. Everything could go wrong

Percy Jackson came today. I repeat; THE PERCY JACKSON CAME TO CAMP JUPITER TODAY!

Okay. I need to calm down. Besides; at least he didn't recognize me. Styx; it seems he can't remember anything.

He asked a lot of questions I couldn't answer. Father says I should keep the two camps secret. I didn't even tell Hazel; my new sister.

Then at dinner he asked too many questions.

He dared to ask about Bianca. It took all my nerve to not scream that she died because of him. He must have some serious amnesia to forget that he broke his promise.

And finally, the war games; a legionnare was killed but miraculously came back to life. Something is obviously wrong somewhere. I know the Doors of Death are open, but

it still doesn't make sense.

Tomorrow there'll be a meeting to discuss a quest issued by Mars Ultor; I need sleep.

Nico di Angelo.


	4. Chapter 4

004

Today was weird, even for me.

I remember when me and Bianca were extracted; after the fight with the manticore, I asked Percy a lot of questions. A lot of them not exactly relevant but important at the time.

Why, karma?

Because he asked me too many questions. So much so that I thank gods (and The God), that Romans didn't care about mortal politics; in explaining The Doors of Death I used an analogy that summed up the relationship between the U.S and… a lot of countries. Sorry, Dante.

This may be my last entry for a long, long time. Maybe even the last entry of my life. Because right now, when I wake up in about two hours, I'm going down to Tartarus; a place almost as dark as my thoughts.

I'm Terrible At Giving Analogies,

Nico di Angelo.


	5. Chapter 5

005

I got trapped in a jar.

And I'm writing this by myself.

Curse you, Tartarus!

Nico di Angelo.


	6. Chapter 6

006

I'm writing by myself again. Not enough strength to summon Dante. So I had to make my handwriting as terrible as possible (Not that I needed too much effort).

Tartarus was not yay. At all.

What was I thinking?

Oh, now I remember.

I thought as a son of Hades, I could go anywhere in the underworld. I was also thinking, 'Hey, I've suffered enough. Tartarus would be nothing.'

Well, I was right about the former. And someone told me that to my face.

What does Akhlys know? She's a goddess. Sure, she looks haggard and like she went fifty years without happiness, food, or video games. She's also the goddess of misery. So what? She doesn't have a crush on another goddess who is more than obviously out of her league and has a relationship with someone else!

Okay; what was I saying?

To survive I had to drink fire (Which sounds like an oxymoron, by the way. And if anyone able to read this thinks that's cool; I'd be happy to see you in the suicide train.)

I don't know how long I stayed in Greek Hell, but when I finally got to the Doors of Death, I was overwhelmed by Gaea's minions and trapped in a jar. I have approximately six days to live with… how do I explain this?

Well, I'm the only one who knows about this curse diary, so I don't need to. What I can say is I need to die for a while.

Still Doesn't Make Sense,

Nico Di Angelo

[P.S; Death Trance.]


	7. Chapter 7

007

It's a good thing no one else is Italian; because I have to curse.

A lot.

One, two, three;

Che cazzo? Perché nel fottuto inferno è successo? Quelle troie mi odiano così tanto devo fare così tante promesse sanguigne? Quegli idioti dovevano semplicemente Percy. Aklys è un tale cazzo. Merda, merda, merda, merda, MERDA!

Ok. I'm fine.

Good news; I'm alive. Bad news; Percy morirà. And he's with Annabeth.

Again; not a big deal. Heck; Annabeth might increase his chances of survival. He'd carry on for her.

Let me explain:

Quick story; Woke up to a battle, acted like a dummy for all of it, and got shipped off to Arachne's lair.

I've said it a long time ago; Hades is bad luck. Merely talking about it is like walking under a ladder on Friday the 13th.

Myth Confirmed; Everything went wrong while we talked about Tartarus. The building still collapsed and Annabeth's leg got tied to a string of silk. She was trapped and falling down to Tartarus.

Naturally, Percy tried to help her.

It was some kind of chain; Annabeth was left with no choice. Percy wanted to help her, and I wanted to help Percy.

But of course; relationships do things to you. Percy was ready to go down with her, saying he wasn't going to lose her again. He made me promise to lead the others to the other side; and down go the corpses.

I'm only slightly offended. At least now. But you know what they say; Love means sacrifices and blah blah blah. I tried to help him, but it seems he'd rather die than be helped. How's that my problem?

Okay. I'm still very mad.

And concerned.

Styx; I don't know how I feel right now, okay? Now shut up. I'm going to sleep.

Nico di Angelo.


	8. Chapter 8

008

Story to cover the past few weeks; I'm the captain now.

Well I'm not always captain. Duty shifts to either Jason or Hazel. Coach Hedge thinks he's leader because of his age and baseball bat; and we can't protest because of the latter.

Everything's normal on board. And by normal, I mean not too confusing.

Just kidding; we're miserable here.

You know when they say you never know what you have until it dies? Percy and Annabeth were obviously very important for this quest. Naval navigation and support, brain, planning and leadership respectively.

And me? I can't even describe myself to myself anymore. Yes; I'm 99.6% over Percy now; but I'm seriously worried. They offered me his cabin; but I'm sure even the ancient laws say you can't sleep in an almost deadman's bed.

I've been communing with the dead more than usual; and Hazel has problems. She'll have to face… her.

I understand. Names have power; and I don't want to attract more attention than necessary. Leo and Frank told me about the bounty on our heads; at least their heads since I'm not exactly on the team in any way; but I still remember what happened at Triple G Ranch. Don't ask me later.

Story to cover today; ourae, Hazel, and Leo being an idiota. Masts are from trees, Shorty. It's general knowledge!

Tomorrow, or should I say later on, since it's about three in the morning, we'll have business to discuss. Hazel's not telling me what happened when she deboarded, but we'll be crossing the Apennines.

Meaning we'll be going to Italy.

Arrivederci, e perche?

Nicoló di Angelo.


	9. Chapter 9

009

Pretty eventful day. What; with the monkey bunch stealing our stuff?

It was July fifth, only a day after independence; and we were already practically discussing Halloween.

Today I explained my sadly favourite subject; Death. I explained the House of Hades and even though Leo was holding back his comments; The Necromanteion sounded like a video game. Levels. Special potions. Reward; ghosts. Things got so spooky, Jason had to intervene. (Rude.)

Next Leo told us his dreams about Clytius. Good news is he's (Leo,) not there for nothing as he (Clytius,) can be routed with fire (Though Leo's expression said otherwise.)

Finally we brought up ghosts and dwarves when suddenly the dwarves we were looking for basically robbed us. I sustained a few minor injuries (that's why my handwriting's worse).

Leo told us the story and it seems we have delivery service in Venice.

Operation Casa Nera UPS,

Nico di Angelo.


	10. Chapter 10

010

It's becoming quite obvious that the Moirae have a two day timer on when to add interesting things to my life string.

Today doesn't have a proper adjective other than Franky, farmy, and popcorny.

Told you there were no proper/existing adjectives.

Franky in the sense that it was Frank's time to shine. He asked too many personal questions as if he was to answer a pop quiz on my childhood, saved us from an All-About-Farming god, and appears to have cleansed Venice of downlookers. (As in katoblepones; we can never, ever have even a house without literal downlookers.)

Also; Frank became…. let me just stop at taller.

Moving on; I got turned into an ear of corn. Long story short; Triptolemus è un bastardo.

But he taught me a very important lesson; Persephone has caused too many problems. If she had more sense and didn't let herself get kidnapped, Trip would've died and not have the guts or powers to step to me. And I know nothing about my inheritance. (I say that because Necromanteion sounds a lot like Nicomanteion.)

Which reminds me; Today also had too much memorabilia. Frank made me bring up my past, I somehow forgot about Mythomagic, and I got turned into a plant for the third time.

Remind Me To Try And Poison Persephone,

Nico di Angelo.


	11. Chapter 11

011

Great news; I was able to get Dante.

(Shut up Allighieri.)

I stand corrected about the two day timer. Today was impressive. And, thankfully, with little to do with me.

Remember when I said Hazel had a challenge to face? It seems she's ready. The cost though was a lot of repairs on the ship and a bandit that almost robbed us of, and I quote, "all our valuables." Hazel said his name was Sciron and he was also after the Athena Parthenos.

Again: thank gods I didn't have to go with them; they had to wash Sciron's feet. And with glass cleaner. They were obviously terrible.

Also, I would've died. Jason didn't because he could fly. The best I can do is shadow travel.

Still, My Powers Do Not Suck,

Nico di Angelo.


	12. Chapter 12

012

Cursing time.

Vai all'inferno. Fottiti, fottiti, fottiti. Improvvisamente non va bene essere gay? Se non lo è, non sono affari miei, fottuto figlio di puttana. Quindi aiutami con il fottuto River Styx la prossima volta che ti vedrò, ho intenzione di spingere la tua fottuta faretra sul tuo culo divino, puttana, razzista, connivente, testa di cazzo.

Il che mi ricorda; che cazzo stavo pensando quando mi sono innamorato di quel cervello di alghe? È tutta colpa tua, bastardo. Se non fossi stato così carino ed eroico, nulla di tutto questo sarebbe successo. Vai al Tartaro per tutto ciò che mi interessa: aspetta, ci sei già. E con quella testata Annabeth.

Tu. Hai reso le cose così difficili, puttane. Le cose sarebbero andate molto meglio se Athena non avesse avuto così tanti bastardi come te. Non esisteresti per Percy con cui uscire. Avrei confessato i miei sentimenti, io e Percy ci saremmo frequentati e la mia vita avrebbe avuto molta meno merda.

Il che riporta la colpa a Percy; anche se tradissi una piccola emozione, non vedresti merda. Non ti biasimo; tua madre è una puttana, tuo padre è un bastardo, e tu ... tu.

Mind The Tears On The Pages

Nico di Angelo.

A/N: Sorry guys. Too much fire. I almost didn't publish it.

Don't believe me, just watch.

Go to hell, Cupid. Frack you, frack you, frack you. Is it suddenly not okay to be gay? If it's not, it's none of my business you fricking son of a bitch. So help me by the fricking River Styx the next time I fracking see you I'm going to shove your fricking quiver up your godly ass you bitchy, racist, conniving, dickhead.  
Which reminds me; what the frack was I thinking when I fell in love with that seaweed brain? This is all your fault, you bastard. If you weren't so cute and heroic, none of this shit would've happened. Go to Tartarus for all I care— wait, you're already there. And with that airhead Annabeth.  
You. You made things so difficult, you whore. Things would've been so much better if Athena didn't have so many bastards like you. You wouldn't exist for Percy to go out with. I would've confessed my feelings, me and Percy would be dating and my life would've had a lot less shit in it.  
Which brings the blame right back to Percy; even if I betrayed a little emotion, you wouldn't see frack. I don't blame you; your mother's a whore, your dad's a bastard monger, and you're— you.


	13. Chapter 13

013

So; I have a lot to catch up on.

Fast version, then;

Boreads, Leo's gone, pushed half way through the Mediterranean, working on the Argo II.

End of story.

Nico di Angelo.


	14. Chapter 14

014.

Nothing but bad news. I'll explain as much as my seriously heartbroken state can allow me.

To start, Jason. I never new someone could be so annoying because they supposedly care about you.

Unfortunately, I'm only mad because it was the truth. He's right. I'm hiding.

And so what? Look who's talking; Son of Jupiter, ex-preator, golden boy, Champion of Hera/Juno, perfectly perfect Jason Grace. He doesn't know the first thing about rejection, longing, or heartbreak. He has nothing to hide. Everyone worships him; like the real Jupiter. I have to keep a diary for all my issues!

Okay, calm down. Reyna might hear me.

Who's Reyna; we'll get to that.

Moving on; I have no idea what happened with Jason and Notus/Auster. All I know is Jason burst out five minutes after talking to me about my problems, acceptance and what not; with wind horses ready to take us to Malta.

In Malta we found Leo; who looked, for the first time ever, as bad as I felt. Something happened. I wanted to pity him.

Styx; I pittied him, okay; but I think he deserved being thrown that far. I will not pretend I didn't hear his insults about me being related to Clytius. But he looked really sad; and he was basically our jester.

After Malta we raced to Epirus. The Doors seemed to be working overtime, and Percy and Annabeth were in danger.

And we got to the Necromanteion; my inheritance.

That was where I stopped pitying Leo. Most especially when it came to the poison section. If this doesn't work properly, we die; would your dumbass show some respect?

And Jason. I asked him if he could trust me; and he seems he does. Or maybe he just wanted to prove a point; because no normal person without a motive just chugs poison given to him by someone with issues.

Today was Franky yet again. Jason field-promoted him to preator. (And on my orders. Does that mean I know more about Roman rules than Romans?)

After that, he was— what's the word?— badass. He was commanding dead legions more and better than I could, organized the rest of us to become monster killing machines, and in general; was a badass.

Hazel wasn't so bad herself once we got to her. From what it seemed she defeated Pasiphaë. Clytius took a bit more work. (As it turns out; Leo Valdez could not beat him.)

She also learned how to shadow travel. (At least we didn't end up in Denmark.)

She also looked suspicious; she was first happy with her victory, then she saw me.

Now that I think about it, I have to ask Hades if he sired Clytius. We might be related after all. Heck; from my calculations I might be related to Hitler.

After playing What To Do With The Athena Parthenos, I said goodbye to Percy. Rudely. It felt painful, yet good.

Then Annabeth showed up. Fortunately for me, Athena kids aren't smart enough to simply figure out the biggest secret in history. They also can't read minds. Or speak Italian.

Diavolo; Athena kids aren't all that talented after all.

Now about Reyna; probably ex-preator of Rome considering that she broke a ton of rules to get to us.

The morals of the story: I'd make a perfect tour guide and delivery service; I'll need to ask Hades for our full family tree; and Annabeth can go through Tartarus, re-decorate Olympus, hold up the sky and be the brain of this operation; but can't find out what goes on in my head.

See, Putanna? Not Everything

Works Out.

Nico di Angelo.

A/N: If you love Jason Grace, play Memories by Maroon 5 in your head or YouTube. Makes sense.


	15. Oh My Gods

Oh. My. Gods.

No.

Never.

Never, ever again.

No. No. No. Nuh-uh. No way in Tartarus. (Tartarus was almost better.)

Today was so bad I can't even write about it. Styx; I'm not going to write about it; this curse will only remind me.

But it added another thing to my Never Again or Try To Forget About It or simply No list.

Fuck You, Albania,

Nico di Angelo.

_**A/N: Sorry, ten year olds. The last note was unfortunately written in simple English.**_


	16. Chapter 16

016

Long, long, long story.

And I'm, again, writing this by myself. I might not be able to use Dante as my ghostwriter anymore… assuming I live that long.

Hmm; Falling from the sky to wake up in Pompeii. That first.

That day I learnt a lot of very important lessons; Not all ghosts can be controlled, and Reyna is too cool.

Next Portugal; there are a lot of terrible slogans. We, the bones that are here, await yours? You're kidding me.

To hell with my limited time; I have a lot to say about Portugal.

Portugal has terrible pretty much everything. No offence to Paolo, but Portuguese? What the cazzo?

Secondly; you have a church made of bones. I repeat; A Church Made Of Bones. That's disgusting. How did you— never mind.

And you were able to find a way to make a place where my dad feels "focused". You're attracting bad rep. What if he actually comes for redecorating ideas? Tyche be with you.

In conclusion; Portugal has a lot of weird memories. The weirdest being Hades saying he was proud of me; because lucky for me (not), he knows my secret.

More about Portugal; Farturas. FARTuras. Seriously?

Ok; Reyna's giving me a weird look. It's still funny.

What was definitely not funny was Lycaon. Note to self; forge a silver sword. With Phlegathon water.

Finally; in San Juan I learnt that Hunters aren't too bad. They risked their lives to save us. I understand Bianca's choice a lot better now.

And Orion must die.

Plus I hate colours.

Nico di Angelo.


	17. Chapter 17

017.

Very long story. Maybe more tiring than the last one.

But I have two days in the holding cell— sorry; infirmary. I'm free to remember translations all I want.

Lessons I learned in Buford:

1\. Preator Reyna has a cool history. And by cool I mean so in the obsessed with war, pirate related, I-Kind-Of-Killed-My-Father kind of way.

2\. I can also do costumes. It was only the 27th of July and Bryce Lawrence had a great, realistic ghost costume for October 31st.

Oh wait; it wasn't a costume. I actually turned him into a ghost.

Solace is right; I need a break from ghost-kingship.

3\. I need to calm down. My anger almost cost me my life.

However, pricks like Bryce deserve it. And I learnt that I'm way too powerful. So it was halfway worth it.

4\. Pegasi do not suck.

War has a ton of lessons. But an ultimate one is that some deaths shouldn't be prevented; most especially if the death involved is the death of an aurgr bisbetico enough to be a god.

His death was necessary; that's why Will Solace isn't obviously giving me merda about it. At least not obviously.

News flashes: Jason's pontifex maximus and wants to make sure all the old gods are remembered, blah blah blah.

Leo Valdez is dead.

I still have no idea what to feel.

Speaking of mixed feelings; Me and Percy are going to be awkward for… a while. Maybe forever. That's what happens when someone sees you kill something; and I basically murdered his pride.

No biggie. At least Annabeth's happy, though she might be that way because her boyfriend is completely off my mind now. I have— ah— other people to deal with.

Nico di Angelo.


	18. Chapter 18

Sigh

I need a very important lesson in shutting up.

Chiron and Argus have been gone for two days now trying to retrieve some demigods; and we decided to have a little fun.

At the campfire, I talked about the orientation video. (Don't ask me later.) It turns out I'm the only one who's watched that merda.

Once everyone else watched it, they saw what I meant. Now they want to make an orientation guide; which I am not seriously contributing to, thanks. The most I'm going to do is answer a few FAQ's. They also might put me on the Most Dangerous or Do Not Speak To list.

But I'd do anything; anything; to get my revenge on Apollo. His video caused me a huge amount of embarrassment. Next time I see him… I'll think about it.

Nico di Angelo.


	19. Chapter 19

019

So I can't do anything to Apollo. He's mortal now.

Yes, that makes him easier to kill; but he has his own problems.

To start; Margaret Thatcher Crotchkicker McCaffrey.

Right in the name, she's trouble. Her first orders of business after hauling Lester Papa-of-William (or whatever code name Apollo has now), was to poke Connor in the eyes and do some... brutal damage to Sherman Yang. Again; right in the name. (And the crotch.)

And as I said, Apollo's mortal and Meg's slave. (I wonder which one's worse.)

We told him about the disappearances and it seems he has his merda cut out for him.

In conclusion, I can't murder my boyfriend's father because it seems he's going to die of either back breaking work or embarrassment while he's here.

That's right. I have a boyfriend. But don't tell him I called him that; he's caused me enough embarrassment for that only today.

Nico di Angelo.


	20. Chapter 20

020

Very interesting stuff happened since my last entry. And by interesting I mean weirder than demigod standards.

Perhaps since there's am ex-god with us? Meaning the standard of weird is normal for gods.

Medium version: Merda went down in the three legged death-race, it turns out Meg's a traitor, Percy came for the weekend, and I got rich because Leo's a jerk we all needed to punch.

Wait; I forgot to tell you that Leo's no longer dead?

Eh. No problem.

Now Leo, Lester, and Caribbean Music are due to go to Indianapolis. We'll be kicking back at camp; a lot of us with hay fever.

I forgot about that too?

Well; let's just say Will is going to be very, very busy.

And the moral of the story, kids; Apollo has signed his own death warrant in a Catch 220, not all bosses can be trusted, and I better start practicing my tour guide skills.

Arrivederci!

Nicoló di Angelo.


	21. Hasta La Vista

_I'm out, peeps. _

_But first, I'd like to appreciate AquaEclipse for constantly reviewing. Not even kidding. __**Sei un grande!**_

_And thanks for reading this. 781 views so far. Nice__. _

_Until next time; when Rick decides to give Neeks more screen time, arrive-fricking-derci._

_NicolaQ__, Daughter of Hermes._


End file.
